


Frosty is Definitely a Snowman

by ciaconnaa



Series: 12 Days of Irondad & Spideyson Christmas [10]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, Gen, Tony is a little shit, snowball fights and snow angels and snowmen snow snow snow, uhhh sorta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-20
Updated: 2018-12-20
Packaged: 2019-09-23 14:00:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17081627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciaconnaa/pseuds/ciaconnaa
Summary: “Mr. Stark!” Peter squeaks, reaching down to yank the carrot out. He uses it as a pointer in a futile attempt to reprimand him. “There are…” he looks around and sees that a group of middle schoolers already saw the whole thing. They’re giggling. “There are children here!”“So?” Tony scoffs, still laughing. He grabs the carrot from Peter’s hand and sticks it back at the bottom of Frosty. Peter is mortified. “Frosty’s a boy snowman. People should know.”or;Peter just wants to make a snowman. Tony just wants to ruin it.





	Frosty is Definitely a Snowman

**Author's Note:**

> SIKE this one is silly enjoy

To say that Peter was devastated was a bit of an understatement.

“What do you _mean_ you’ve never made a snowman before?”

Tony fixes him with a look that Peter recognizes as _I am getting real tired of your shit,_ but he refuses to let up. Not until he gets an appropriate answer. “I’ve been busy making much cooler things. Ever heard of this little thing called _Iron Man_?”

From the corner of the lab, DUM-E starts whining.

“Yeah, yeah. You too, you absolute menace.”

The robot goes back to making happy noises and destroying Tony’s workspace.

Peter resists the urge to stamp his foot on the ground like a child. “You haven’t always been Iron Man! What, you’re gonna tell me you never went outside in the yard to build a snowman when you were a kid?”

“Aww. That’s cute. You think I had a lawn.”

Peter will _not_ accept a deflection of any kind. “Parks! There are parks!”

Tony sighs. “Look, kid, it’s not a big deal. If I wanted to make a snowman, I’d make a snowman.”

“Then come with me to Central Park!”

“I distinctly remember saying _if I wanted to.”_

Peter slouches and puts on his best puppy-dog eyes, complete with pathetic pout. “Mr. Staaaaaaaark. Please? I don’t want to go all alone…”

It works. It works fast. Peter watches as Tony lets his head fall back, mouthing curse words in French and asking a God he likely doesn’t believe in _why me_ before he lifts his head. He yanks his glasses off his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Oh my god, _fine._ I will go to Central Park with you and make a snowman.” He points at him, glasses still in hand. “Don’t ever say I don’t do anything for you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” He perks right back up after that, eyes twinkling with glee. “Can we get hot chocolate on the way?”

After Tony makes sure that Peter is most definitely all bundled up and looking as round as a marshmallow, the two of them decide to walk to the park, stopping for hot chocolates on the way. Peter downs his pretty quickly while Tony more or less just uses his to keep his hands warm; he’s pretty sure he sees the man pour most of it into a gutter when the finally get to the park.

Peter tugs Tony through the park for the perfect spot, excitement growing once the grey, monotone sky of the city starts spitting out sprinkles of snow, just enough to coat his hair and stick to his lashes.

“This is _perfect,”_ Peter declares when he finds a spot worthy. Tony lets out a scoff when Peter drops like a fly, back first, into the snow. He makes snow angels for a few moments before he pops back up, scrambling to his knees. “Alright, let’s go. Do you need a refresher course on the intricacies of a sphere, or did MIT pretty much cover that?”

Tony glares at him, really glares at him, before he joins Peter on the ground to start tucking the snow into a giant sphere for the base. He’s half surprised he doesn’t get nailed with a snowball with that comment.

Peter gets right to work with singing carols. “Ohhhhhhhh, Frosty the Snowman, was a jolly happy soul -”

And Tony gets right to work being a _Grinch_. “No singing.”

“Spoilsport.”

It doesn’t take long for them to finish. It’s not a feat of engineering by any means, but the snowman is fairly tall and all three spheres of snow are round and smooth. Peter thinks it’s the best snowman he’s ever made. He says as much as he’s finding sticks for his arms and sticking pebbles into the snow for buttons and eyes. Tony hisses out another curse in French when Peter unwinds his scarf and puts it on the snowman; he immediately takes it off and puts it back on Peter’s neck.

“Noooo, the scarf is cold,” he whines, trying to push Tony away.

Tony doesn’t yield. “Maybe you shouldn’t have wrapped your scarf in the snow.”

“Frosty needs it! I don’t! You made me put on too many sweaters.” He holds up his arms as if it’s evidence. “I look like the Michelin Man.”

“I can’t believe you’re old enough to know what that is.” He finishes with the scarf, tying it in a loose knot. “Besides, he’s not gonna come to life.” Tony reaches over and presses his thumb into where Frosty’s nose would be. “You forgot the carrot.”

Peter grins, reaching into his pocket, and pulls out said carrot. He feels like a magician. “Ta-da!”

“Where did you get that?”

“I bought it when you were getting the hot chocolates.”

“You said you were petting a dog you saw outside a bodega.”

“I did that, too.” He places the carrot in Tony’s hand. “Would you like to do the honors?”

Tony rolls his eyes, but doesn’t argue, and turns to the snowman. Peter watches as he tries to find the appropriate spot right in the middle when all of a sudden he grins. And not one of Peter’s cute, innocent grins. An evil grin.

Iron Man straight up sticks the carrot...

....at the bottom.

Peter is _stunned._

Immediately, Tony starts to cackle.

“Mr. _Stark!”_ Peter squeaks, reaching down to yank the carrot out. He uses it as a pointer in a futile attempt to reprimand him. “There are…” he looks around and sees that a group of middle schoolers already saw the whole thing. They’re giggling. “There are _children here!”_

“So?” Tony scoffs, still laughing. He grabs the carrot from Peter’s hand and sticks it back at the bottom of Frosty. Peter is _mortified._ “Frosty’s a boy snowman. People should know.”

Peter yanks the carrot out again. He does _not_ like this game. He feels his cheeks redden, and it’s not just from the cold. “This is not the wholesome Christmas time experience I was hoping for.”

“Wholesome is overrated.”

He just glares, clutching the carrot to his chest before he focuses on putting it on Frosty, you know, the _proper_ way. His nose. “I’m telling Pepper you did this, okay, it is not - _AH!”_

Peter jumps a little too high for a normal person when Tony throws snow right at the back of his head.

Oh, it is so on.

While Tony is busy doubled over in laughter, Peter may or may not be using his super speed to fling a tightly packed snowball his way, nailing him right in the mouth.

Peter has his own evil grin while Tony sputters, wiping his face with his soaked gloves.

"Kid. You don't know what you've gotten yourself into," and he throws another snowball.

They go on like that for awhile. Throw, hit. Throw, miss. Peter’s hands go numb and his feet aren’t too far behind, but Tony is smiling and _laughing,_ so he thinks he’s worth it. The snowman slants more and more as both of them fight over putting the carrot at the top versus the bottom between throwing snowballs.

“I may not have made a snowman before,” Tony says, leaning down to scoop up some snow. Peter does the same. “But I’ve had a few snowball wars in my day. Rhodey was defeated every time. I can do this all day.” He tosses his snowball, but Peter dodges it with ease.

“Yeah, well, me too. I’m a five year consecutive champ. Me and Ben defeated May and Ned all the time.” He throws his snowball, but this time Tony dodges it as well.

“I’m Iron Man.”

“Well, I’m _Spider-Man!_ ” Peter yelps before his eyes go wide, hand coming over to cover his mouth. He looks left and right, but no one seems to have heard him.

Tony uses Peter’s mortification to sneak up on him, stuffing snow down his back.

" _TONY!"_

Tony laughs so hard, he falls back, right into Frosty.

“Well,” Peter sighs, while Tony starts making snow angels in Frosty’s corpse. “It was fun while it lasted. Sorta.”

“I’m having a blast,” Tony grins. “We should do another. Get a bigger carrot.”

Peter takes a leap and  _screams,_  tackling him in the snow.

**Author's Note:**

> tony making the carrot a penis is....so funny 2 me
> 
> yeah I lied the NEXT TWO will have a tone shift. but happy endings. bc christmas. I wrote this pretty fast I had some unexpected company and I'm spreading some christmas cheer so I don't have time to work on this the rest of the day so I'm sorry if its not that great. it's rushed, I won't lie.
> 
> uhh same deal, new tumblr @ciaconnaa if you wanna chat.


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